Why You Need Self-Care in Your Long-Distance Relationship
Being in a long-distance relationship is fulfilling but can definitely cause burnout. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over 3 years and it’s not easy! We deeply care for one another but sometimes you need the space to practice self-care especially in a long-distance relationship.
Take care of your mental health because you simply cannot serve from a cup that is half full. If you’ve already closed the distance, it’s also important to practice self-care too.
I try to remember that if I cannot take care of myself then I cannot truly support someone else. It’s important to be self-aware of your weakness and strengths so you can focus on building the relationship. Now is the best time to work on yourself and learn some easy self-care tips.
Other helpful long-distance relationship articles:
- Fun Monthly Date Ideas for LDR Couples
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- Inspiring Long Distance Relationship and Wanderlust Story
Important 9 Self-Care Tips for Those in a Long Distance Relationship
1. Make sure you are taking care of yourself physically
Are you eating healthy food? Are you getting an adequate amount of sleep? I know all too well the late-night talks. But who here is guilty of feeling terrible and tired the next day?
We have to remember to take care of ourselves too. Sometimes it is not worth the late hours. Sometimes it’s better to use the extra time to cook healthier meals. Otherwise, we end up not feeling our best after a bad meal or a bad night of sleep.
Take care of your physical wellbeing so you can be a better and happier partner. After a good workout session and a good night’s sleep, you will feel energized and motivated. It will be worth it, in the long run, to be disciplined and diligently tackle the boring tasks. Preparing healthy meals and ensuring you are sleeping well, will help you live a healthier and longer life with your partner.
2. Hang out with people you love
Cherish these moments! Soon you will have your own family and won’t have the extra time to be with your current family and friends. Every day, your parents are getting older so hold them close and be present at this very moment. This is an important self-care tip for long-distance relationship couples because you should have your own support group and not solely depend on your partner.
3. Join support groups
There are many relationship groups on Facebook! I’ve joined around 4 groups and in every group, there are many LDR couples sharing their stories, pictures and advice. I see a lot of people asking for advice and it is a very supportive community. You can also find support groups on Reddit for self-care advice for your long-distance relationship. It is helpful to learn from other people’s experiences.
4. Journal and reflect on what you truly want
Reflect and write about your interest, passion, and goals. We are too often bombarded with life’s responsibilities, I find it hard to find downtime to think about what I want. This period away from your partner will give you time to put yourself first.
Ask yourself, what makes you happy? What are your career goals? Set your intentions ahead of time, so when you finally reunite with your partner, you have a better idea of what you want.
Dependency becomes a problem when we are not self-aware and strict with our needs. We end up depending on our partner for affirmation and validation. How can we truly appreciate the person in front of us if we are too focused on our own baggage and self-doubt?
5. Work on things you love
What makes you happy? What makes you excited? Time will fly by when you are working on things you love.
Esther Perel a renowned psychotherapist and the author of the Game of Desire says that when we embrace our individuality and work on things that make us happy, we become more attractive to our partner. We create curiosity and desirability in the relationship. Imagine seeing your partner in his/her element, where they are super focused and excelling at the task at hand. They are confident and exuberating confidence left and right. Tell me that is not an attractive sight!
Continue to build your own identity and work on things that you care about. At the end of the day, it will make you a more interesting person. You will have more things to share with your partner. Remember happiness is contagious so the excitement level will be at an all-time high!
6. Meditate
It is good practice to quiet the mind and channel inner peace. I have a lot of scattering thoughts so I like to listen to affirmation videos on YouTube to better guide my thoughts. I set a sleep timer for 15-20 minutes and play the positive affirmation in the background until I fall asleep.
7. Surrender
It is a tough journey and there will be days when you feel absolutely alone. Surrender to these moments and acknowledge you are going through a tough time.
To prepare for these moments, write a compassionate letter to yourself. The advice we give our friends is very different from the way we talk to ourselves. To write this letter, think about what you would say to a friend if they were in the same situation Write the letter when you are clear-minded, so you will be more kind and gentle to yourself.
You can also create a self-care kit of your favourite things. Have memories or tokens from your relationship to remind you of happier times.
There will be rough times but I promise the feeling will pass. We all know it’s worth it and that is why we continue to push and overcome the hardships of LDRs. It’s okay to be jealous and resentful of other couples. One day it will be worth it and all those tears and hardships will be mere memories.
8. Talk to someone you trust
If you are struggling, please reach out and talk to someone. There were many times when I was upset and felt alone. Dating someone long distance is a lonely journey and I can understand it can be difficult to talk to others who are not in the same situation. But I was genuinely surprised by how supportive my friends and family were. It was nice to be able to talk about the positive and negative parts of being in a long-distance relationship.
I also created a new Instagram account, @mylynh.nguyen during the pandemic and the LDR community is so encouraging! You will be surprised by how kind and supportive people are when you ask for help.
9. Talk to a couples therapist
I read a great article on BuzzFeed where they suggest speaking to a therapist if you are in a LDR. I actually called my work counselling support line because I wanted professional advice. It is helpful to speak to a professional who will provide unbiased advice.
You don’t have to be experiencing problems in order to see a therapist. They can help you improve your relationship and provide research-based self-care tips for long-distance relationship couples.
Self-Care Tips You Need to Know Once You’ve Closed the Distance
Jazzy has been dating her boyfriend for over 3 years and they’ve finally closed the distance! She moved to Finland with her boyfriend and she wrote a great article on amazing self-care tips to practise once you’ve closed the distance.
Stay up to date on their journey on Instagram, they are an inspiring couple!
Jazzy also writes about long-distance relationship articles on topics such as frugal date ideas and how to talk to your partner about closing the distance. I loved her article on 50 LDR questions! I definitely recommend these questions if you are looking for ways to deepen your relationship.
For more related content, follow @mylynh.nguyen on Instagram.
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